Choosing

Do you ever feel like your life is tearing you in two all the time. That is the way that I have been feeling lately. I feel like I tackle a choice, and then there is another one. The hard part about this is that both choices are sometimes good. Last semester I just felt like I was floating by all the time. I was doing my calling okay, my work okay, my marriage okay, classes okay, debate okay. There seems to be a pattern there. Well we went to the temple over the break and one line stuck out to me. I can in no way quote it but it was about giving all of your talents and abilities to the lord first to increase his church. It hit me almost like I had been plowed over by a truck that was my problem.
I feel like I need to please everybody, and strive to live up to expectations that everyone has for me. I was failing. After that day at the temple I felt the need to simplify. I knew I had to cut something our of my life and I knew the only thing that was disposable was speech. I cried for a long time after I made this choice. I love debating it is like a mini high, I guess you can uses arguing for something good. The team was just taking a lot of my time and energy, and I could see that the debating Meagan was not good for our marriage. I feel sad but relieved.
I am also going to stress less. When I told Travis this he said yeah right, but I am trying to find something everyday that relieves my stress. The biggest... A cute little boy named Travis. To be completely honest I used to get so annoyed when I was trying to do something and Travis wanted attention. The other day I said you know what I can put this down and spend time with my husband. I have been loving it. We are having a blast, and less stress. I also found a new love for cooking and reawakened my love for a good book.
It is a slow process for me and I am still trying to figure everything out but I am so much happier. Last night we were doing stats homework and we were both getting pretty upset with ourselves and each other. Travis stood up and said that's it picked me up and threw me on the couch handed me a Wii paddle and we played Mario Brothers for two hours. Usually me... annoyed and stressed. Last night I felt great as me and my husband defeated a whole level. So I guess my new years resolution destress, and put all my skills and talents toward the lord. Let me know if you have any ideas on how to keep this!